I know it's been a really long time since my last entry but you have no idea what international superstars like me go through. Simple tasks like ordering breakfast, filling the van with gas, or figuring out who's keys are lodged in my rectum become increasingly difficult with fans always asking for autographs or trying to show me their bossoms, it's all very tedious. Anyway, they discharged me and said I should probably wear boxer shorts for at least 2 weeks.
~Billy Bob

Well I just have to say I'm really disappointed at the legions of BBPH fans from Walton, Indiana. We graciously agreed to perform a full set at The Sly Fox Inn for no charge whatsoever and how do we get repaid? We get to watch a huge pile of vomit get sopped up with our "2006, Year of the Beaver, BBPH!" T-shirts. That's a fine how do you do, thanks a lot Walton, Indiana, we will never play a gig there again.

I've been thinking about the melodic qualities of cabbage quite a lot lately. The pale green color is nature's perfect C major. Check out these new lyrics I've been working on and I think you'll agree.

I don't know what to say, to that bumblebee today.
He makes me want to die, but instead I fix my tie.
If he doesn't go away, I will make him pay.
Flying through the sky, it's time to freak out!

~Billy Bob

I just wanted to let all you fans know we're busy in the studio working on our new single "Please don't let it be mine." We actually haven't seen the light of day in about 70 hours, once we get going there is no stopping us. It's that dedication to the art that separates BBPH from other bands who are only interested in writing profitable songs. Not us, we agonize over every syllable in each stanza of every verse of our songs to make sure that we don't cheat our fans out of a single iota of the Rock 'n Roll they deserve. Also the door knob on our recording booth broke off from the inside, if anyone knows a good locksmith, please send them to Burbuck Studios, Suite E. We really appreciate it.

~Billy Bob

BBPH USA Tour Dates Released

Logansport, IN - February 3, 2006 On the heels of a whirlwind holiday set at Carol's Corner Pub, BBPH has released the first wave of headlining tour dates.

"We're excited to be hosting BBPH on this first leg of their tour," says Rich Parnell head bartender at Carols. "There are certain bands that connect with drunks in a way that you can feel by just watching the live show. BBPH care about their audience and tear it up on stage. It's great to watch the band grow, and I'm glad we get to be a part of it."

BBPH Tour Dates

March
12 Logansport Carol's Corner Pub

July
4 Logansport Riverside Park, Stage 2

December
20 Logansport The Deja Vu

Contact Information:
Carol's Corner Pub Contact: Liz Smith / PH: 321.719.6107
BBPH Contact: Billy Bob / billybob@ryanbuck.com
BBPH Contactct: Pubik Hare / pubikhare@ryanbuck.com

I hate to be the harbinger of misinformation, but the recent stock scare in Tokyo has caused some financial difficulties for us down here at Burbuck Studios. As most of our fans know, BBPH has long been a staple in Japanese advertising, from premiere chocolate brand "Crunky Kids Crunchy Chocolate" to indor home furnishings "Green Breeze Sound Sofa", and even " Brains Organic Form" which we were never really clear what that was exactly, but you don't ask a lot of questions when the sake is flowing like wine.

Well, we lost one of our biggest accounts, women's only eye drop maker "Beauty Method For Lady" has recently dropped BBPH as their official spokesband, and picked up Joey Lawrence. "Woah" indeed. So what does this mean to the legions of BBPH fans across the world? Not much, "Beauty method for lady" corporate headquarters was hosting our website www.bbph.com, but since they dropped us we have had to find a new webhost, and it looks like it's going to cost almost $15 a month. Due to this exhorbitant cost, BBPH can no longer offer no cover charge shows behind Bruno's Pizza, and we will be going to a poly-cotten blend for all band shirts. We apologize to our fans, but you can blame those idiots at LiveDoor.

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Peace Out!

~Billy Bob

I've decided to re-double my blogging efforts this year to ensure no BBPH fan is left behind. I posted 3 times in 2004, and none in 2005, so I guess double that then divide by 0 and you get 6, which is the square root of 36, but when you divide that by pi you get 11.4649681529 so I guess I'll post that many times. This post counts as the .4649681529 since it's so short.

~Billy Bob

WOO HOO 2006, and BBPH celebrates its 14 year anniversary. In honor of this momentous year, we are dedicating every song we write to the traditional 14 anniversary gift, IVORY. First and foremost Pubik Hare is writing the final act to his opera "Dueling Pianos." Enjoy the forbidden love shared between an out of work circus freak and his half cousin set to the frantic pace of heavy metal piano duets. It all leads up to the exciting conclusion where our hero must fight Satan himself to the death in a no holds barred cage match. In this years "feel good hit of the summer." Roger Eberts says, "If you don't see this show, you won't know what you're missing!"

We are also proud to announce the BBPH Signature Ivory Guitar. These solid body electric guitars and basses, made in cooperation with Ibanez, feature solid state electronics, solid chrome trim, and the finest hand harvested African Ivory. Available in white, cream, and of course, ivory, you will be the envy of of all the other rockers in your town, and possibly the target of an international investigation. For more information contact Burbuck Studios.

We also have a new line of scented candles. BBPH Signature Candles feature all natural tallow, premium canvas wicks, and scents inspired by the hard rocking hard rock lifestyle. Available in Puke, Vodka, Groupie Juice, Gin, Diesel, and Other, these candles burn for an average of 8-12 hours, so they're perfect for creating the perfect backstage atmosphere anywhere.

We'll see you all in 2006!

BBPH