So this internet thing is still going strong huh? I didn't really post much in 2007 because blogging seemed so 2006. I guess if we're still going to do this I better catch you guys up on what's been happening with BBPH in the last year or so. Well, first off, we got acquitted! So that's good news. Secondly and probably most importantly, as the world changes so do bands. BBPH has gone through sort of a metamorphasis, and it is my great pleasure to announce to you today that going forward, all of our concerts and studio recordings will be performed using Drop D tuning. We can no longer support standard Open E tuning. It is our belief that Open E tuning is responsible for all of the problems of the world from Tetanus poisoning killing 300,000 children each year to Tinnitus keeping aging rockers awake at night. Until Open E tuning is brought to justice, we will not, nay can not, support this playing style. Also, Drop D power chords totally fucking rock, and they don't hurt our fingers as much. ROCK ON!
~Billy Bob

A lot of my inspiration comes from the psychotropic drugs I've been prescribed by the BBPH stage manager. Such classics as "Ernie goes to Elvies," "Exit Sandman," and "Who let the cat in?" were all written under the influence of such elicit substances as Monopril, Vasotec, Ritalin, and my personal favorite Lipitor. I can't tell you how many mornings I woke up from a Lipitor induced coma completely naked, smeared in margarine, and a dead horse in the kitchen.

I also wanted to ask the "Imperial Legion of Crested BBPH Fans" for a favor. We lost our stage manager at our last gig, we all got on the bus, we took roll call just like we always do, but somehow we left him behind. The gig was at Stinky Pete's BBQ in downtown Louisville Kentucky. The last time I saw him he was talking to a Puerto Rican Transexual dressed like a cop, I assumed it was about where we parked the van, but when I looked again, they were both gone. Obviously into the back alley for a quick "frisking." Regardless we haven't see our stage manager for about 19 days, and we're starting to get worried. If there is anyone in Kentucky that can score me Lipitor, I would really appreciate it. The shakes are coming and going and my urine is turning yellow, I haven't had yellow urine since I was 14, it's just not natural. If you can get me a fix, please send it to: BurBuck Studios, PO Box 1428. The fan that sends me the most pills will also be hired as our new stage manager. ROCK ON!
~Billy Bob

BurBuck Studios Now Hiring!

Burbuck Studios is now actively seeking a motivated individual to assist in pre and post production work of progressive rap metal albums. Duties include monitor mix, drum tuning, and background sound effects. Will also need to clean the bathroom across from the sanctuary every Saturday so it's clean for service, that's one of the conditions of being able to use the mixing board at the church. Will also be in charge of keeping a steady supply of 60 minute cassettes on hand, Pastor Dave said if we steal one more tape we won't be welcome to come back.

We're back baby! BBPH in full effect. It's been a year since the last post and I'm here to positively guarantee this post will not disappoint. It will be exciting and informative, it will keep you guessing but it will answer your most intimate questions about BBPH, like do they wear boxers or briefs, or is that really how you spell Pubik Hare? It will lead you down dark paths of self discovery and touch you in your most private of places. It will comfort you in your hour of need and assure you that everything is going to be ok, because after all, isn't that what everyone needs, a sympathetic blog to cry on? Most of all it will entertain you, but if you're not careful, you just might learn something. So without further ado, I present the first blog entry in over a year!

I know it's been a really long time since my last entry but you have no idea what international superstars like me go through. Simple tasks like ordering breakfast, filling the van with gas, or figuring out who's keys are lodged in my rectum become increasingly difficult with fans always asking for autographs or trying to show me their bossoms, it's all very tedious. Anyway, they discharged me and said I should probably wear boxer shorts for at least 2 weeks.
~Billy Bob

Well I just have to say I'm really disappointed at the legions of BBPH fans from Walton, Indiana. We graciously agreed to perform a full set at The Sly Fox Inn for no charge whatsoever and how do we get repaid? We get to watch a huge pile of vomit get sopped up with our "2006, Year of the Beaver, BBPH!" T-shirts. That's a fine how do you do, thanks a lot Walton, Indiana, we will never play a gig there again.

I've been thinking about the melodic qualities of cabbage quite a lot lately. The pale green color is nature's perfect C major. Check out these new lyrics I've been working on and I think you'll agree.

I don't know what to say, to that bumblebee today.
He makes me want to die, but instead I fix my tie.
If he doesn't go away, I will make him pay.
Flying through the sky, it's time to freak out!

~Billy Bob